Welcome back to another edition of our Danfo Series where we get to share our seemingly annoying yet priceless experiences in our beloved Lagos commercial buses.
Missed our previous articles? Read them here.
Today, we will be talking about the annoying attitudes of the Danfo drivers and conductors that just irk you and make you wish you had your own car.
‘Enter with your change oo’: I don’t know about you but there have been times I trekked a far distance because I was scared of an insane conductor shouting me down or looking at me like a criminal for presenting #1000 for a fare of #50. Have you noticed however that if you dare them and board the buses regardless, the change they were screaming at the top of their voices to be unavailable miraculously materializes once you get to your destination?
‘I go join you together’: After chanting their usual ‘there is no change’ mantra and they really want to frustrate you for daring them, they give a large denomination to somebody and ask about 3-5 passengers to break it and share amongst themselves. But how now? If I had the change at first, would I not have given it to you?
‘Aunty na this one dey go’: I’m sure you have been a victim of being dragged by about 3 conductors at once because they all want you to enter their buses. The annoying part is that they don’t even care how much time you spent arranging your clothes and make-up before stepping out. They just distort your whole packaging in a few minutes and this is worse if you have a small figure like me.
‘Please, I wan buy fuel’: Trust me, they do this most times just after loading their vehicle and leaving the garage to start a journey. Dear Mr Driver, if you have an iota of decency and respect for people’s time, you will buy that fuel before you begin loading your vehicle o.
‘Oshodi! Oshodi!! two more chance’: Have you realised that it is ‘always’ only two more spaces left till the bus is full when the conductor is coaxing you to enter his bus. The moment you get to the bus however, well it should not be a rude shocker anymore when it is actually only two passengers and a million empty seats left in there.
Conductors not keeping a seat for themselves: Piece of advice for you my fellow Lagosians, the moment a conductor chooses to stand on a bus and close the door at the same time, do NOT sit in any of the seats close to the door. Not only will you smell his congealed sweat odour throughout the journey, he will put his hand over you while collecting fares and even hit you some time in the process. I’ve been there so take my advice and thank me later.
I’m sure there are more personal experiences you have had with bus conductors and drivers than the general ones above.
Do not hesitate to share yours in the comment section below!