We know it has been a while since we last brought you an episode from the Danfo series. Don’t think we ditched our dearly beloved yellow buses for Uber rides or leggedis benzes, no. We just went away so as to gather for you enough juicy details of the priceless experiences from Danfo drivers and passengers that lace the streets of Lagos. If you think you have seen it all, trust me you don’t even know a fraction of it.
Anyway, here are some of the people you will meet in a Danfo bus:
The Loud Caller: These ones’ screams can jolt you back to life from oblivion if by chance you are there already. They would damn the angry stares other passengers are casting them and sometimes I wonder, why do they think the person on the other side of the line won’t hear them except they shout? Have you noticed however that the content of the conversation is mostly gossip?
The Sibling Giver: So this woman comes into the bus with 5 kids and some luggage and she won’t pay for an extra seat. Sadly, you are seated directly beside her and before you can make a statement, she already dumps one of the kids on your laps with the statement, ‘Please help me carry your brother’.
The Advertiser: Have you ever left your beloved sleep because you had to be somewhere so early with the hope to continue the sleep in the bus on the way to your destination. Then, just after settling the conductor with the bus fare and you pick your sleeping position, one voice just rings loudly from the back with, ‘‘this one go clear cold and catarrh sharp sharp’’ Fam!
The Mannerless Tappers: This one mostly occurs in buses that do not have conductors. We get that it is not exactly your fault as a passenger but if you want to get me to pass your fare forward, can you not tap/poke hardly to get my attention? Some passengers won’t even care if you are wearing a while outfit. They’ll just place their dirty palm on your clothe all in the name of wanting you to pass their money forward to the driver for them. The looks I cast some of them though!
Since we do not have cars yet, what can we do but live with these experiences anyway? As annoying as they seem at the moment, they still make you love your ride and constitute the highlights of living in Lagos.